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Animal Jokes
Two guys in a jungle come around a
corner and meet a lion head-on pawing the ground.
One guy ever so carefully reaches into his knapsack and slowly takes
out a set of Nike running shoes, never once breaking eye contact with
the lion.
The second guy hisses: "What are you doing, you can't outrun the lion"
And the first guy says: "No, but all I have to do is outrun you"!
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Computer Jokes
There was once a young man who, in
his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define great, he said, "I want to write stuff that the
whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly
emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain
and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.
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Family Jokes
Martin had just received his brand
new drivers license.
The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he
is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately
heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver.
"I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those
months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to
drive," says the beaming boy to his father.
"Nope," comes dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of
your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these
years."
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Love and Marriage Jokes
"I have a bad headache. I'll visit
the doctor."
"Nonsense, yesterday I had a headache, I dashed home, gave a big kiss
to my wife and the pain disappeared. Why don't you try it?"
"Good idea, call up your wife and tell her I'll be right over."
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Kids Jokes
A little kid asks his father,
"Daddy, is God a man or a woman?"
"Both son. God is both."
After a while the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or
white?"
"Both son, both."
The child returns a few minutes later and says, "Daddy, is Michael
Jackson God?"
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Political Jokes
Hey, do you know the REAL reason the
government jails people for theft?
It's because they don't want any competition.
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Sardar Jokes
This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park
and when the Dinosaurs start approaching, he was hiding under his seat
when his friend asks him ;kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag
raha hai cinema hi to hai.; Sardarji replies ;Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai,
pata hai ki cinema hai, lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata"
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Hindi SMS Jokes
3 Chimps escaped from the
zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing
football and the third one was caught reading this txt
message
Mandir mein jaap karta hoon,
Masjid mein adaab karta hoon,
Insaan se kahin bhagwan na ban jaun isliye roz tujhko
SMS karke paap karta hoon.
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