1. Jurassic Park
This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and
when the Dinosaurs start approaching, he was hiding under his seat when his
friend asks him ;kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema
hi to hai.; Sardarji replies ;Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema
hai, lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata"
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2. Brain Tumor
There's a funeral procession of a sardar
going on a busy street. All the sardars in the 'mayyat' are dancing the
bhangra and singing and general 'balle balle' is on. The people on the
street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as
if its marriage baraat. So one of them asks Santa Singh, ;Singh Saab, aapka
koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach rahe ho?; .....comes the reply, ;Haan
ji! Hai hi baat badi kushi ki!!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar brain tumour se
mara hai!!!;
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3.
Photocopy
One Sardar needed two plain papers but he
had only one. Do you know what he did: photocopied the one which he had.
sardar are fun aren't
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4. European Closet
Santa and Banta went to US They have stayed
a five star hotel. Santa don't know how to use the European closet he
dropped everything in a packet and placed it on one of the leaves of the
fan. Banta came and switch on the fan and everything spread on the wall When
the room boy came Santa gave a 10 dollars and told him to wash it off . But
the Room boy gazed at it for a five minutes and taken a 25 dollars from the
pocket and told to Santa "I will give you this 25 dollars if you say how did
u do it so beautifully".
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5. One more Plane Crash
Garbachan singh was
traveling from
Calcutta to Bombay by a plane, There were one American, one Russian, one
Pakistani and some other passengers. Suddenly something went wrong pilot
alarmed that plane lost it's control and some of the passengers have to jump
out to rescue the rest of them. Firstly the American jumped out saying "Jai
America" again the condition didn't change then the Russian jumped out from
the plane saying "Jai Russia". But the condition still the same. The next is
Garbachen's turn he hesitated for a moment and pulled out the Pakistani by
saying "Jai India".
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6. A Plane journey
A jet ran in to some turbulent weather. To
keep passengers calm, the air hostess brought out the beverage carts.
"I'd like a soda " said the passenger in the front row. Moving along, the
air hostess asked the man behind her if he would like something.
"Yes I would," he replied. "Give me whatever the pilot is drinking!".
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7. Crime Story
"I'm going on vacation . Could you suggest
a thrilling crime story ?" Santa asks to Banta. "Here this one is so
suspenseful you won't be able to put it down" replies Banta. "only on the
last page do you find out that the gardener did it".
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8. New House
Santa meets Banta
Santa: "so have you moved to a new house"
Banta: "No."
Santa: "Why not? You advertised to sell your old house, didn't you?"
Banta: "Yes, but when I read the ad, I realized it was just the home I was
looking for!".
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9. Salt Seller
Do you really sell that much salt? A man
asks to a Sardar who is running a grocery shop stocked with thousands of
boxes of salt.
"No " says the Sardar. "I sell may be two boxes a month. To tell you the
truth, I'm not a good salt seller. But the one who sell me salt-now he's a
good salt seller."
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10. Marathon Race
One day Sardar happened to see a marathon
race.
"What the guys are doing" asked the sardar.
" We are running a marathon. The winner will get prize" replied one runner.
"Only the winner will get prize! Then why others are participating!!"
Exclaimed the Sardar
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11. 13th Floor
One day a sardarji was sitting in his office on the
thirteenth floor building when a man came running in
to his office and shouted "Santa Singh your daughter
Preeto just died in an accident" Sardarji was in
panic.Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office
window. While coming down when he was near the tenth
floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named
Preeto. When he was near the fifth floor he remembered
he was not married.When he was about to hit the ground
he remembered he was not Santa Singh.
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12.Phone Book
A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library
and said, "I borrowed a book last week, but it was the
most boring I've ever read. There was no story
whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!"
The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who
took our phone book." |
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13.Cows Don't Fly
A sardar was walking along, when he looked up to
observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird
dropped a load when it was directly over him. The
Sardar says, "Good thing that cows don't fly." |
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14.Dark
Room
Did you hear about the sardar who asked his friends to
give him all their burnt out light bulbs? He just
bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom. |
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15.Relaxing
One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in UK.A lady
came and asked him, " Are you relaxing" Sardar
answered '" No I am Banta Singh" Another Guy Came and
asked! ! ! ! the same Question. Sardar answered " No No Me
! Banta Singh" Third one came and asked the same
question Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to
shift his place. While walking he saw another Sardar
enjoying the Beach. He went and asked him " Are you
Relaxing?" The other Sardar was much educated and
answered "Yes I am relaxing. The Sardar slapped him on
his face and said "Idiot, Sab tere Ko wahahn dhoond
rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai. " |
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16. Wash Basin
A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash
his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running
and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?" To this the man replies,
"Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai "Wash Basin". |
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17.Three Engines
Fifteen minutes into the flight from Mankuwa City to Sukhpur city, the
captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed..
There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than
scheduled, but we still have three engines left."
Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and
the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry ... we can fly
just fine on two engines." An hour later the captain announced, "One more
engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours.But
don't worry ... we still have one engine left." A sardarji passenger turned
to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine,we'll
be up here all day!" |
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18.Detective Job
Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a Sardarji,
one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each applicant
just one question and base his decision upon that answer. When the Jewish
man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus
Christ?" The Jewish man answered without hesitation. "The Romans killed
him." The chief thanked him and he left.
When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the Same
question. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief
thanked the man who then left. Finally the Sardarji arrived for his
interview, he was asked the same question. He thought for a long time,
before saying,"Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said,"OK,
but get back to me tomorrow." When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked
"How was the interview ?". Sardarji replied, "Great, I got the job,
and I'm already investigating a murder. |
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19.Guooonn,
Guooonn
Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and we
had to spend sleepless nights. Sardarji was also experiencing the same
every time. he tries to sleep,one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep with
a
sound "guooonn, guooonn."
He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem remains
persistent. Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his hand. He
is very kind and not for the blood shed but still wanted to take revenge.
Happy as he is now starts singing a lullaby and says "so ja machchar, bete
so ja". After some time he finds the mosquito
falling into deep sleep in his hands. So he goes near it and says
"Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn." |
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20. Urine Test
Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like
anything. So the other asked,"Why are you crying?" The first one replied,
"I came here for blood test" Second one asked," So? Are you afraid?"
First one replied,"No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger"
Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was astonished and
asked other, "Why are you crying?" The other replied, "I have come for my
urine test." |
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21. Bihari-Sardar
A Bihari was waiting for his bus at the bus stop. Finally the bus arrives
and he gets in. The bus is fully loaded with sardarjis. One sardarji orders
Bihari to tell a joke. Now, the Bihari thinks he's in big trouble because
he knows only sardar jokes! After thinking for some time he decides to
substitute all references to 'sardars' in his joke with 'Biharis'. He starts
the jokes with, "There was once a Bihari..." And suddenly he gets a major
blow on his back from one of the sardarjis who shouts, "Kyon be! Sab sardar
mar gaye hai kya?"
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22. Wrong Answer
Santa Singh applied for an engineering position at DEMAN CONSTRUCTION
office in Amritsar. Reddy from Chennai applied for the same job and both
applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by
theDepartment manager Mr. Arvin Singh. Upon completion of the test, the
results showed that both men only missed one of the questions. The manager
went to Santa and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to
give the job to Reddy".
Santa: And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct.
This being
Punjab I should get the job!"
Manager: "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the
one question that you got wrong.
"Santa: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"
Manager: "Simple, for the question that both of you got wrong, Reddy put
down 'I don't know' as the answer. And you wrote 'Neither do I'!" |
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23. Road to Station
Sardarji praising his son who is a Civil engineer, who just laid a road
near his house. "Wow! This is terrific! Look at the job he has done!
The distance from my house to the railway station is the same as the railway
station to my house!!!!!!!!" |
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24.Green TV
Sardarji is buying a TV.
"Do you have colour TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please." |
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25.Just a second
Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the receptionist. "Thank you." says the Sardar and hangs
up. |
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26.Salary
Expected
Sardarji is filling up a job application.
He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc.
Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED. After much thought he writes: Yes. |
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27.Crocodile
Boots
Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes, if you bring me a pair of
crocodile boots.
He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally they find him hunting
crocodiles
and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its
legs, angrily exclaims: "71st and *again* barefoot!" |
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28.Thermos Flask
Sardarji goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a Thermos flask."
The Sardar asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The Sardar says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new Thermos.
His Sardar boss sees him and asks,
"What is that shiny object with you?" He said, "It's a Thermos flask."
The boss asks, "What does it do?"
He replies, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The Sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke." |
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29.Answering
Machine
Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.
Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints like
"Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai." |
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30. Photocopies
What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes. |
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31. Photocopy
What does Sardarji do when he has one white sheet and wants an extra sheet?
He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.
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32. Free Punjab
There was a meeting of all the Sardar freedom fighters.
They were planning for a free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point,
"Oh...we'll take Punjab from India but how would we develop it?"
That was a tough one indeed. Banta Singh had a brainwave...
"No problem! We'll attack Amrika, it would take over us and then we would
become a State of USA and develop automatically."
All the surds became happy with this very simple solution but an old surd
was not.
Someone asked him why he wasn't happy. The old surd replied, "THAT'S ALL
VERY WELL...
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE TOOK OVER AMRIKA???" |
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33. Small TV
Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned
to tell the salesman "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognised me," he thought. He went for a complete disguise this
time,
haircut, new hair colour, new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw
the salesman again. "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied. |
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34. Below 18
Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed. |
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35. Sardarji's Intelligence
How do you measure Sardarji's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear |
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36. Hand Grenade
What do you do when Sardarji throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
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37. Hand Grenade-2
What do you do when Sardarji throws a pin at you?
Run like crazy...he's got a hand grenade in his mouth. |
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38. Joke On Wednesday
How do you make Sardarji laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday. |
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39. Hands over ear
What was Sardarji doing when he held his hands tightly over his ears?
He was trying to hold on to a thought. |
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40. Retrain
Why does Sardarji work seven days a week?
So you don't have to retrain him on Monday. |
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41. Ice Cubes
Why can't Sardarji make ice cubes?
He always forget the recipe. |
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42.Kill The Bird
How did Sardarji try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff. |
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43. A wind tunnel
What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel. |
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44.Back Of Head
What do you see when you look into Sardarji's eyes?
The back of his head. |
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45.Lightning
Why does Sardarji always smile when a lightning blazes?
He thinks his picture is being shot. |
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46. Shoes
Why does Sardarji have TGIF written on their shoes? Toes Go In First. |
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47. Fax
How can you tell when Sardarji sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it. |
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48. Second One
Why can't Sardarji dial 911?
He can't find the Second 1 on the dial. |
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49. Dead Bird
"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Sardarji looked skyward and asked, "Where, Where?
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50. Smart Sardars and UFOs
What do smart Sardars and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them. |
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51. Sardar Snowman
Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman than a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head. |
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52. 8 kms a Day
The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran 8 kms a day for 300 days, he would
loose 34 kg
At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the
weight, but he had a problem. "What's the problem?" asked the doctor.
"I'm 2400 kms from home." |
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53. Jurassic Park
Sardarji goes to see The Jurassic Park.
When the Dinosaurs start approaching he cowers in his seat.
His friend asks him,"Kyun Sardarji, kya baat hai?
Dar kyun lag raha hai? Cinema hi to hai."
Sardarji replies, "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai,pata hai ki cinema hai,
lekin woh to janwar hai, usko kya pata." |
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54. Suicide
Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks...
takes along some wine and chicken with him.
Somebody stops him and asks,
"Kyon bhai ye sab kyun leke baithe ho?"
Sardarji replies, "Saali train late aati hai
kahin bhook se na marjaun.." |
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55. 20 Rupees
Sardarji is travelling by train.
He feels sleepy, so he gives the guy opposite 20 rupees to wake him up when
his station comes.
This guy is a barber. He feels that for 20 rupees Sardarji deserves more.
So, when Sardarji falls asleep, the barber quietly shaves off his beard.
When the station arrives, he wakes up Sardarji and sends him home.
Reaching home, he goes to wash his face, and suddenly screams when he sees
the mirror.
Sardarni asks, "What's the matter?"
"The cheat on the train takes my 20 rupees and wakes up someone else!" |
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56. Donkey
Having lost his donkey Sardarji, got down
to his knees and thanked God.
A passerby saw this and asked,
"Your donkey is missing. What are you thanking God for?"
Sardarji replied, "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that
I wasn't riding the donkey at that time,
otherwise I would have been missing too." |
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57. Chinese
Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills the birth certificate. "Mother: Sikh.
Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese." "How come you write "Chinese" when both parents
are Sikh?" "
Aah, Sardarji read a newspaper, it said every 4th person born on the Earth
now is a Chinese." |
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58. Rubi, Moti and Sardarji
Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and Sardarji were sent to the outer space.
The ground control issues commands, "Rubi!"
"Woof!" (barking sound ) "Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!"
"Moti!" "Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!"
"Sardarji!" "Woof." "Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!" |
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59. Clock Tower
Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when
someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Sardarji says
"Yes".
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the
thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji
figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again
walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock.
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says I am not a fool. This time, you
wait and I'll go get a ladder." |
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60. Driver
Santa and Banta Singhs landed up in Bombay and got into a doubledecker.
Santa somehow managed to get a bottom seat in the bus. Unfortunate Banta got
pushed to the top. When the rush was over, Santa went upstairs to look up
Banta, found Banta in badly scared, clutching the seats in front with both
hands.
Santa asked, "Arre Banta! What's going on? Why so scared?
I was enjoying my ride down there? Scared Banta replied, "Yeah, but you've
got a *driver*." |
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61. Called Again
Santa with two red ears went to see his doctor. The doctor asked him
what had happened to his ears. "I was ironing a shirt when the phone
rang. Instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the
iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But...what happened to
your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called again."
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62. 31 Years Old
Bantu returns from his first day at school and immediately questions
hisfather.
"Dad, today we had a Spelling Class - All the other kids could only
say half
the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Sardar?"
"No son, that's because you are intelligent. "
Bantu seeming content with the answer, asks his father another
question,
"Dad, today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count
from
1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am Sardar ??"
"No son, that's because you are intelligent," replies his father.
Happy with the answer, Bantu poses another question to his father,
"Dad,today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter
than me, I was atleast twice their height. Is that because I am Sardar
??"
The father replies, "No son, that's because you are 31 years old. |
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63. Oxygen Tube
Santa Singh was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his
friend Banta. As Banta singh stood beside the bed, Santa Singh's frail
condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on.
Banta singh lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper,and Santa used his
last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died.Banta singh thought
it best not to look at the note just then, so he slipped it into his jacket
pocket.
Several days later, at the funeral, Banta singh was visting Santa's family.
He realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he'd worn the day Santa
died. "You know," he said, "Santa handed me a note just before he died. I
haven't read it, but
knowing Santa, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all.". He
unfolded the note and read aloud, "You're standing on my oxygen tube!" |
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64. Thought
Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out.
His friends asked him how he had fared. He replied, "Exam was okay, except
for the past tense of 'think'. I thought, thought, thought and at last, I
wrote 'thunk'!" |
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65. Bet On Highlights
Santa told Banta, "I bet that India would win against Pakistan and lost Rs
1,000." Banta exclaimed: "Yaar, you bet Rs 1,000 for a single match?" Santa
replied:
"Nahi yaar, I bet Rs 500 on that match." Banta asked: "So, what happened to
the other Rs 500?" Santa repied: "Chad yaar, I bet on the highlights too." |
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66. Train Driver
A train suddenly deviated from the tracks and ran onto the nearby fields
before returning on the tracks again. The passengers were horrified at this.
At the
next railway station, the driver was caught and questioned. He was a sardar
and explained that a man was standing on the tracks and he refused to budge.
The authorities asked him, "Sardarji, are you mad? Just to save one person,
you put so many lives in danger. You should have overrun that person." The
sardar replied: "Exactly, that is what I was doing, but this idiot started
running towards the field when the train came very close." |
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67. House on Fire
Once a building caught fire and two guys and a sardar were trapped in the
balcony. On the ground, fire fighters caught hold of a net and asked them to
jump.
The first one jumped but the fire fighters removed the net and he was
killed. Then the other guy was asked to jump and again they removed the net
too soon and he
was dead. Seeing all this, the sardar was furious and said: "You keep the
net on the ground and get away from it. I don't trust you. |
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68. Cellular Phone
A sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up and
says
" Hello, how did you know I was here?" |
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69. Secret Agents
Why are sardar secret agents the best in the world? Because even under
torture they can't remember what they have been assigned to. |
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70. Checkbook
Did you hear about the sardar who signed all his checks so no one Else
could write in his checkbook other than him if he lost his checkbook? |
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71. Two Coats
Banta Singh was painting his living room one hot day.
His friend Santa Singh asked him, "Why, are you wearing two jackets?".
"Because,” said Banta Singh, "The directions on the can said to put on two
coats." |
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72. White Lines
A sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a
highway.
On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the
following day less than a mile.
Then the foreman asked the sardar why he kept painting less each day, he
replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away
from the paint can." |
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73. Empty Bottles
Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?
They're there for those who don't drink.
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74. Lunch Box
Why do sardars have see-through lunch box lids?
So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or
coming
home. |
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75. Think
A sardar's response to the comment, "THINK about it!": "I don't have
to think-I'm sardar!" |
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76. Window
A sardar, a japanese, and a britisher were lost in the desert. They were
driving around in a Jeep when it broke down, because they had nothing else
they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their
journey.
The japanese took the radiator, the britisher took the seat, and the sardar
took the door. After a while of walking the britisher asked the japanese
"I'm confused,
why did you bring the radiator?" The japanese responded, "If I get thirsty,I
can
drink the fluid." Next the sardar asked the britisher "Why did you bring
the seat?" So the britisher said "If I get tired,I am not going to sit on
the
sand. I can sit on this comfortable seat." Finally the japanese asked the
sardar why he had chosen the door. The sardar quickly responded to this
question, "Well,when I shall feel the need to get some breeze in this summer
all have to do is roll down the window." |
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77. Magic Lamp
A sardar, a japanese, and a britisher were shipwrecked on a deserted
island. One day they came upon an old lamp buried in the sand.
As they brushed the sand from the lamp a Genie appeared and said I'll
give each of you one wish." The japanese said "I wish I was home!" PUFF and
he was gone! The britisher said "I wish I was home!" PUFF and he too
was gone. The sardar said "Boy is it lonely here! I wish my friends were
back!" |
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78. Sheep & Dog
A sardar was tired of being sardar and constantly being the subject of all
those dumb sardar jokes. He finally cut his hair. He decided to take a drive
through the country to celebrate his new life. Going past a field of sheep
(he loved sheep) he stopped and asked the farmer "If i can guess how many
sheep in your flock, can I have one?" The farmer laughed and said "Sure,
Sir"
He gazed out for a few seconds and said "There's 1,973 sheep" The farmer
said with amazement "Your're right! Go and pick one out". On his way back to
his car he was stopped by the farmer yelling "Hey Sir! If I can guess your
real identity can I have my dog back?" |
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79. Ban Sardarji jokes
Desh mein badthi hui sardarji jokes dekh kar Santa aur Banta chintith ho
jate hain.. Dono milkar Bhatinda mein Akhil Bharatiya Sardarji Sammelan ka
ayojan kartein hain.. Sammelan ka muddha hai .:"Ban Sardarji jokes..".Sammelan
ke baad, Santa, Banta aur doosare sardarji Delhi pohanch jatein hain,
Cultural Affairs mantri shri Surinder Singh se milnein..Kafi Dharna ke baad
wo Surinder singh se miltein hain. Santa chillata hai, " Kaise sardarji ho
ji aap, Desh mein din ba din Sardarjiyo par joke likha ja raha hai aur aap
Mantri ho kar bhi, kuch karte hi nahi..aap turanth iin jokes par ban lagaiye.."
Surinder singh kuch sochane ke bad bolta hai " Mere pyare sardarji
Bhaiyon,aap in jokes ko dil se kyon lete hain,jokes tho jokes hai, aur waise
bhi hum sardarji log kuch buddhu hote hain..". Santa aur Banta yeh sunkar
Gussa ho jatein hai aur chilatein hai, arre mantri jara sabith kar ke dikhao
ki hum buddhu hain..". Surinder bolta hai," OOye, ye lo ji, ismein konsi
baddi baat hain, abhi lo.." aur wo apne driver ko bulata hai " oye Milkha
singh, oye Milkha, jara idhar aa". Milkha cabin mein aata hai.. Surinder
bolta hai.." oye milkha ja daud ke ja aur pata kar ki mei ghar pohancha ki
nahin.."..Milkha chale jata hai. Surinder bolta hai.." Dekh lo kitna buddhu
hai, Telephone kar ke nahi pooch saktha tha..".. |
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80. Sardar Tiger
Sardar Dhakaan Singh is big hunter. Once he went to a zoo. At that time a
big tiger escaped from its cage. The zoo officials sent everyone out of the
zoo and closed the main gate. Now the tiger is inside the zoo but wandering
freely.Zoo people requested sardar to go inside and trap the tiger in a
cage.Scared but to avoid insult he went into the zoo in his jeep carrying a
big gun. While driving on one of the zoo's roads, he noticed that the tiger
is chasing him. Feeling scared he drove the jeep fast but only to observe
that the tiger is very near to the jeep. At that time the road separated
into
two paths ahead, one to the left and other to the right. Then cleverly
dhakaal put the left indicator on and turned the jeep to the road on right.
The tiger runs into the left path. With a sigh of relief, he drove forward.
After some time the roads meet and the same situation arises again. once
more the road divides into two and this time our sardar is smart enough to
put the right indicator on and turned to left. This time the tiger goes into
the road on right side. After some time the roads meet again to our sardar's
misfortune and the tiger starts to chase him again. This time the road never
divides and our sardar thought the tiger would catch him. Then a brilliant
idea struck his mind. He slows down his jeep taking it to the left corner of
the road. Then
he held his hand outside and a gives signal which is given for vehicles
which want to overtake. The tiger this time overtakes his jeep and runs
forward.
Result :- There are Sardar Communities in Tigers too. |
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81. 30000 kms
A sardar wanted to sell his old battered Maruti car which had done more than
100,000 kms. Since no body was inclined to buy it, he approached his friend
to
help him dispose it off. The friend advised him to have the mileage meter
reading reduced to around 30,000 kms so that he could tell the prospective
customer that it has been used sparingly. The sardar liked the idea. A few
weeks later the same friend met him and enquired whether he was able to
dispose off his car. The sardar replied, "Are you mad? Who sells a car which
has done only 30000 kms!
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82. Rechecking Answers
A Sardarjee reported for his University final examination which consists of
"yes/no" type questions. he takes his seat in the examination hall, stares
at
the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes
his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the
answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour he is all
done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few
minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.
The
moderator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "I finished
the
exam in half and hour. But, I am rechecking my answers |
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83. Money Needed
Santa Singh needed some money desperately.
Someone told him that if goes & prays at Gurudwara, Mosque, Church & a
temple, that his prayers will surely be answered. So Santa goes to a
Gurudwara, & prays there. Then he goes to a Mosque and prays there. Than he
goes to a church and prays there. Then he goes to a Shiv temple. The temple
had
a large Lord Shiva statue. Santa closes his eyes, bows his head, joins his
hands and says his prayer.
Santa: "Ho Jee tussee itne vadde ho. Itne mahan ho. Saannoo 100 rupayen
chahiye. Kirpa karo."
The priest saw Santa praying. He wante to help Santa, but knew that a Sikh
will never accept the money. So he drops a 100 rupee note, from behind the
statue, so that Santa can not see him. After Santa had said his prayers, and
opened his eyes. He saw the note and thought that god has listened to his
prayers. He takes the note and goes away. However he is back again next day
for money. Now the priest is really annoyed with Santa. The Priest decides
that he is not going to give any more money to
Santa. He changes the big Shivji statue with smaller one of Ganapathi that
day. Once again Santa goes to the prayer room. However he does not notice
the difference. Santa closes his eyes, bows his
head, joins his hands and says his prayer. Santa: "Ho Jee tussee itne vadde
ho. Itne mahan ho. Ajj to
saannoo 50 rupayen hi chahiye. Kirpa karo." After that he slowly opens his
eyes and does not find any
money.
Santa: "O papa jee tussee itne vadde ho. Itne mahan ho. Asee 10 rupayen me
hi kaam chala lenge. Kirpa karo jee." After that he slowly opens his eyes
and does not find any money. He slowly raises his head and now notices that
small Ganapthi statue. He carefully looks left and than right, & than slowly
moves a bit forward near the statue. Than he whispers to the Statue: "Beta,
Papa kitthe hai?!?!!" |